Take Me Back To The Night We Met
by lexie823
Summary: Set post 2.10 and gives both Wyatt and Lucy's POV on their relationship. Inspired by the line "I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you" from the song The Night We Met by Lord Huron. The YouTube video of the same name by fancypants also contributed some ideas.
1. Chapter 1

All of You

He was losing her in increments. That thought had caused Wyatt Logan to swipe one of the bottles of whiskey from the bunker's alcohol stash and stomp down the hallway towards his room. He slammed the door and slid down it's cool surface until his ass hit the floor. In less than a second he had the cap off and that amber liquid burning a fiery trail down his raw throat. He could feel the warmth of it hit his churning stomach and hoped it would calm the turmoil he found there. His laugh was bitter as he acknowledged that it would probably take more whiskey than the amount in this bottle, possibly more than the amount in the bunker, for that to occur. It had been six hours since he had lost one of his best friends to a bullet whose firing he had set into motion through his own actions. Those actions, his own stupid fucking actions, had already caused the loss, weeks ago, of his other best friend. His other best friend who just happened to be the love of his life.

His wedding ring glinted mockingly back at him from the shelf that he had stashed it on after Jessica kidnapped Jiya. After that, he hadn't been able to stand the feel of that broken promise circling his finger for a second longer. Couldn't bear to look down on the symbol of a lie that he wore on his left hand. Yet he hadn't been able to bring himself to truly get rid of it either. So there it sat, laughing at him. Reminding him that bringing Jessica to the bunker had resulted in the destruction of the only family he had left. Eliminating his one remaining chance at finding happiness.

Wyatt didn't know exactly when it happened but he was utterly, hopelessly, and irrevocably in love with Lucy Preston. And he had completely fucked everything up. Without knowing it, from the very first night he had met her, Wyatt had been gradually gathering up little pieces of her until one magical night in 1941, he had all of her. That moment had been so perfect. Happiness, desire, love, and peace, he had felt it all. Had believed that he would feel that every night for the rest of his life. That she was the rest of his life. Then they returned to the present and he had been losing her ever since.

He was haunted by those pieces. Haunted by the ghost of her, of all the bright shining parts of Lucy that he had collected. In those first few seconds after opening his eyes in the Mason Industries waiting room he had found her to be anxious, intelligent, and breathtakingly beautiful. Shortly after getting out of the Lifeboat for the first time he had added bossy and resourceful to what he knew of her. Hours later, locked in one of two small jail cells with her, he added compassionate, mesmerizing brown eyes, and several inches of unblemished alabaster skin to the small treasury of knowledge that was Lucy Preston.

Several months and missions later his trove of information had grown and leached out from its resting place in his mind to its new home in between the cracks of his battered and broken heart. Her fangirling over almost any historical figure they met. How right she looked in any era of clothing. Her extreme claustrophobia caused by a near death experience involving a car and a body of water. Her courage. She was the strongest most courageous person that he had ever met. Didn't matter if she was acting as an Allied spy in Nazi Germany or dragging him from the suicide mission of the Alamo, as with everything she did, Lucy dove right in with both hands. All of these pieces and parts of her had managed to glue his heart back together and somehow make it stronger.

Like an idiot, until he kissed her and felt her tremble against him as Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow looked on, he hadn't realized that she had found a place in his heart. That she was the one he had started to see in his dreams instead of Jess. And once he did, he locked those traitorous thoughts down and refused to consider the possibility of anything else. Friends. He repeatedly told himself that they were just friends but he never stopped collecting those pieces of her. Her knowledge on damn near every historical event. He found her brain to be as desirable as her body. The way she had used her knowledge of Harry Houdini to outsmart Flynn and rescue him and Rufus was a thing of beauty. No wonder the poor sap had fallen just a little bit in love with her. They all did. Robert Todd Lincoln, Ian Fleming, even Garcia fucking Flynn, fell in love with Lucy. Wyatt knew what he had walked in on in Chinatown. If that wasn't a man about to confess his undying love for a woman then he knew nothing. Of course, maybe he did know nothing. If he could have just admitted how he felt earlier perhaps he wouldn't have an aching void in his chest where his heart was supposed to be.

The bottle was almost empty but he had been correct, it wasn't enough. He was still conscious. Still perfectly aware of the fact that he had ruined everything. He had never deserved her to begin with, but, after the last few weeks, there was no way he could ever hope to earn her now. Lucy had always put everyone else first and after promising that she hadn't lost him he took off on her and put her last. And still she tried to give him her loyalty and friendship. She had convinced Jess to stay because it was what he told her he wanted. He got so caught up in his own pain and confusion that he gave no thought to how she felt. Christ, he had been so damn mad at her when she tried to set boundaries. Had viewed it as a betrayal when she stepped back and wasn't there for him in the same way she always was. Then, just that morning, he had hit her. It was an accident. He knew she didn't blame him but he blamed himself. He had been out of control and she had gotten hurt again. Even tonight when he told her that he loved her. He couldn't keep the words in any longer and if Rufus was out there somewhere, looking down on them, he wanted the other man to know that he was finally taking his advice. Except, in hindsight, confessing his feelings at that moment was just another selfish action. He felt better now that he had finally told her but he was afraid he had just hurt her more. Driven her further away. He wanted all of Lucy and he finally admitted it just when he realized that he had none of her.


	2. None of You

None of You

It was four am and Lucy Preston was wide awake. She sat in the same spot that she had been in for hours, the bunker's mission control room, staring at the second Lifeboat. She felt gutted out and hollow. Just hours ago she had lost one of her best friends. It seemed impossible to believe that she would never see his big smile or hear his contagious laugh again. Future Lucy and future Wyatt had to be right. They had to get Rufus back. Anything else was just unthinkable.

That brought her to the other reason she was rapidly approaching the twenty four hour mark without sleep. Wyatt Logan, or rather both of them. Over and over she heard his words " _I love you Lucy."_ Those words echoed throughout the bunker's silent halls and rang in her ears. Then there was the sight of future Wyatt, all bearded and scruffy and utterly delicious looking. When he stepped out of the upgraded Lifeboat he was so at ease with the Laura Croft wannabe that was her future self. How the hell did they get there from here? It seemed clear that they were together but that was a future that was impossible from where she stood.

Lucy thought back to that night two years ago when the first met. The night when all of this started. God had he been gorgeous. Despite how anxious she had felt at being hauled out of her home late at night by Homeland Security Agents, she had noticed him and been attracted. Well, until he opened his mouth. After that, it didn't matter how physically attractive he was, she pretty much wrote him off as an arrogant asshole until they were locked in that 1937 jail cell together. She had always had a soft spot for broken and damaged things and Wyatt Logan was definitely broken. If only she had known just how broken he really was maybe she could have stopped herself. Asshole behavior aside and against her better judgment, she had still been attracted to him until he said he was married.

" _She reminds me of my wife."_

In that moment she had felt awful. Lusting after a married man was something she didn't, wouldn't, do. And then he looked over at her, devastatingly deep blue eyes swimming in tears.

" _Jessica died" he gave her a heartbreaking little half smile before continuing "It was my fault. So when I knew Kate was gonna die, well I just couldn't let that happen."_

And that was it. The moment her long slow fall started. God, even now she practically heard her heart strings being plucked. That was the moment she should have stopped it. Thought that she did stop it. They had done nothing but fight through the rest of the mission and after.

When he showed compassion towards her for the loss of her sister she had felt another little tug at her heart. A kinship of sorts, brought on by the experience of both losing someone they loved. And despite his ongoing arrogant and at times dickhead behavior, by the time they found themselves in Nazi Germany, they had formed a solid friendship and great partnership in the field.

It was hiding out with Bonnie and Clyde the tipped the scales again. Until then, she had done an excellent job of convincing herself that they were just good friends. _Friends_ that worked well together, understood each other without the need for speech, and reassured the other through little touches, smiles, and frequent eye contact. Oh, she had lied to herself in a massive way but it took that explosive kiss, given to convince Clyde Barrow that they were lovers, to open her eyes to that fact.

She had been so caught up in his story of "their" proposal. She could hear how much he had loved and was still in love with Jessica and it set her falling again. The kiss pretty much finished off the job. And then she had to spend most of the night laying next to him in a twin bed wearing nothing but her lingerie. Lucy didn't think she had ever been more aware of another person in her life. Every nerve ending in her body was on high alert. She was such an idiot. Something that should have served as a warning sign, a giant flashing yellow light screaming caution, did the exact opposite.

After he stole the Lifeboat in an attempt to get Jessica back, which again should once again have warned her off, and failed, Wyatt changed. For the first time, she had felt like he was beginning to see her and only her and it was glorious. His talk of possibilities had given her hope for the future. Their future. After he and Rufus rescued her from Rittenhouse in 1918 they had only grown closer. So when they made love in 1941 she gave him all of herself. Everything that she was. All of her mind, her body, and her heart. That song had been for him. Wyatt made her love him. And the next day her heart shattered into thousands of pieces when he left her without a word to go after Jessica.

Which led her to the current hell that she was in. She knew that she still had some of him, that she still occupied some place in his heart, after he returned to the bunker with Jessica. It just wasn't enough. How he could work on his marriage, make love to his wife every night, and then still look at her like she, not Jessica, was his everything? He somehow still expected that she would be there for him in the exact same way that she always had. That he could share his feelings and confusion and doubts as if nothing had changed between them. That they could still engage in all the same looks and touches. It made her wish that she had never had any of him.

She could forgive him breaking her heart to go after Jessica. He was a man of honor and Jessica was his wife. He had no other choice. She had given him no other choice. It was the continued stomping on her heart that he had done every day since then that she didn't know if she could forgive. Then, less than 24 hours after his wife's betrayal, he was confessing his love to her. How was she supposed to trust in that? It's not like they weren't going to see his wife every time they jumped. What would happen the first time Wyatt saw Jessica visibly pregnant? Lucy was a big girl. She could admit to herself that, however much she wanted to believe that Jessica had lied, the likelihood that Jessica was carrying Wyatt's child was quite high given the evidence of sound that had filled the bunker hallways at night. They hadn't been the least bit discrete in resuming their marital relations. How could she put any faith in what Wyatt said when there was a very good chance that he would be off after Jessica the first time she beckoned? The only evidence that she had that Wyatt might be telling the truth was the look that future Wyatt had given future Lucy after they had both stepped out of the Lifeboat. She of all people knew how the past and potentially the future could be changed; so how could she believe what her eyes told her.

Gradually Lucy's eyelids drooped. Future Wyatt found her fast asleep, slumped over one of the empty desks in mission control. His heart broke anew as he gazed down and her and remembered all the heartache he had put them both through. He walked over and carefully lifted her into his arms and carried her down the hall into the room that she shared with Jiya. Agent Christopher had forced a sleeping pill on Jiya so he had no concerns that the other woman would see him. Wyatt gently deposited Lucy on her bed and tucked the covers in around her. He sat next to her and watched her sleep for several minutes.

"Ah, babydoll… if I could take all the pain away I would. Just know that I love you with all my heart, now and always. So does he."

Future Wyatt leaned over an placed a soft kiss on her forehead before getting up and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him as he went.


End file.
